Mini Cakes for Mini Dieters

This is the perfect solution to the diet question:

What treats can I have?

Well, I have come up with yet another diet (I should be launching these as books!) for those watching their weight.

It's called the "Inedible" Diet

1.  The treats look delicious
2.  The magic of imagery tricks you into thinking you have eaten cakes and pastries
3.  They serve an ornamental function as jewellery

**Note:  mind you don't try and eat these, they are made from polymer clay!



Mini diet piece #1:  Carrot Cake Charm

Mmm.  Yum yum!  No need to worry about portion sizes!




Mini diet piece #2:  Mini Christmas Cookies

Don't mind if I do, I suppose another one won't hurt...



Mini diet piece #3:   Cupcake Charm

Do I wear them?  Or eat them?  Heck with it, I'll just look at them!




And of course, what banquet would be complete without....



Mini diet piece #4:  Mini Gefilte Fish

Alright!  Gimme the fish already!!

technorati tags: gefilte fish, Christmas, Hanukkah, cupcake, mini cake, jewellery, jewelry, cookies, charm,earring, decoration, miniature

Why Edible Underwear is a Bad Idea

Disclaimer: although pretty tame, if you are under 18 or easily offended, this is not for you.


I was watching a comedian on TV talking about edible underwear and the concept has floated in my mind for days.

The first question I would ask is "why"?

The second thing that really started to bother me was the "material" from which they are made.  This comedian mentioned the stuff that edible underpants are made from and it's been giving me nightmares.

So it's a sticky, sugary, fruity sheet type thing.  Designed for.. well actually, I don't really want to think about what they are for.  Use your imagination.  Or don't.  Preferably don't.

The thing that bothers me the most is that you are supposed to wear these things as underwear.  I don't want to go into too much detail but there are two problems with this.

1.  It's warm down there.

2.  Hair

Now if you get someone who is over enthusiastic and tries to take these things off quickly...

Well, only a qualified beautician should be allowed to do that.  Under strict, clinical conditions using the proper utensils.


It baffles me how shoving a couple of fruit rollups down your dacks is somehow deemed to be alluring to the opposite sex.

Each to his/her own I suppose.

In any case, if you do ever buy/use/eat?!!?! these things, exercise extreme caution, lest you experience an instant Brazilian.

technorati tags: edible underpants, edible underwear, lingerie, weird, underwear, edible, panties

Recession Proof Software

If you have just bought a new laptop, or a netbook you don't necessarily want to order Microsoft Office, Windows 7 and various other security software packages all over again.

So what is the alternative?

I found this excellent site called Get the Free Version, which, strangely enough, shows you the free version or equivalent of popular software titles.

Instead of Microsoft Office, try Open Office.  It's free.  And open source.  And did I mention it's free?

Instead of Windows, try Ubuntu.  Again, free.

And if you aren't keen on forking out for another Photoshop, try Gimp.  Strange name, but it's FREEEE!

For more open source windows programs, you could try Opensourcewindows or Osswin.

technorati tags: open source, open source windows, office alternative, windows alternative, microsoftalternative, open office, open source software, ubuntu, gimp, photoshop, windows, Microsoft office, opensource tools, open source web, applications

Colourful Photon LED SkinTenderizer

My latest purchase consists of a great new LED photon light device, used to correct uneven skin tone and various other skin concerns.
 
The device itself is great, works perfectly, I am very happy indeed.

LED Photon Light Device

The part I found most amusing about the whole transaction was the instruction leaflet.  Please note, I am not joking and this leaflet really contains these phrases.

"Colourful Photon Skin Tenderizer"

I'm somehow nervous already...

Main benefits

• Light waves irradiate skin cells

What the hey?...

• Promotes rebuilding of collagen fibers and other flexible fibers

Like cotton?  Or spandex perhaps?  I've got some old bike shorts need repairing...

And finally,

Please stop the operation in case any stimulated phenomenon

Stimulated phenomenon?  What, like my compass and watch stopping on a deserted road?

Trust no one!!!

technorati tags: LED, LED photon, LED light, LED skin, LED photon Skin, red LED, blue LED

Nerd Love

When geek and love collide, it looks something like this....

Geek Love Poem (The following T-Shirts are courtesy of Think Geek)

Alright, I get the first part, what's with the "base are" bit?

That's not even proper English!

***Holds eyes tightly shut while waiting for inevitable berating comment from Xanthar Doomsayer III (aka Colin)***



Intimate nerd apparel

Please don't blog this.  Please.  Really.



Love vs chocolate - chocolate wins

For when love is not forthcoming
...or I just prefer chocolate...  SORRY!! Theobromine.


 
Love is... free IT support

I should have bought one of these at age 14...



When 2 geeks fall in love, and make little geeks, there is really only one option:

That's two options.  FAIL.  *smacks forehead*


And completely unrelated...
Haley Joel Osment I Ain't

I don't think I've got enough space to fit all these t-shirts but I might just have to buy them all.  Starting with this one. 

technorati tags: geek, humor, funny jokes, funny t shirt, geek love, lol, funny pictures, slogan, funniest t shirts,

New Ebay Updates and Changes

Ebay has made some updates to include a number of features designed to help the ebayer um... buy stuff.

So the first change includes a diversification of the watch list.

Personally, I love the watch list, it shows me everything I'm GOING to buy.  And it always seems to work out that I do manage to buy most of the things on my watch list.

Now we have some new lists:

Watch List (existing)
Gift Ideas (new)
Research (new)
Wish List (new)

So when you find an item you like/love, and you "add to list", you now have a choice:

For me, my watch list IS my wish list but... I can dig it.

The gift ideas list is a great addition - you can be super organised when it comes to birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas.  This is a feature I will be using frequently.

Research is an interesting one.  I thought I was the only person who did research on ebay.  Apparently not.  I will no doubt use this section as well.  This section is appropriate for forming an opinion about a type of product or category.  For example, "Windows 7".  You can compare prices, types/versions (eg. home, professional) , features etc. before you make your final decision.  The research section will be handy for those items that I will be purchasing in the future.

I love the idea of breaking up lists into categories.  Too many times I have found myself with 50 watched items and no idea where to start.  Now the items can be broken down into bite sized pieces.  You can also create your own customised lists (say, the name of a gift recipient or a category).  I can see myself having a bit of fun with this!

For more fun with ebay, check out my updated "Let's Go Shopping" sidebar ->>>>>

technorati tags: ebay, ebay changes, ebay updates, ebay australia, ebay shop, my ebay, ebay au, ebayauction, ebay account

Beware the Gorgon

On my travels this weekend I found myself shopping around for a hairdresser.

My hair has reached the stage where I can make a wig from sheddings and every time I try and sleep it wraps around my neck and tries to strangle me.

During my midday stroll I found a likely prospect:

Medusa Hairdressing.




















This is an actual hairdresser, I did not make it up.

After struggling with the idea of getting my hair cut at such a place I came up with some possible sub headings for their display window:

"Our hairstyles kill the competition"

"Stop men dead in their tracks"

"Midweek Discount - Snake Extensions"

"Who Needs Gel When You've Got Stone?"

"No mirrors guarantee"


But is Medusa the best name to really "get people in".
I'm not sure a beheaded snake haired woman who turned men to stone just by looking at them is exactly the appropriate connotation for a supposed beauty outlet.

Don't get me wrong.  Medusa was a noteworthy beauty.
It's just that she was headless and stuck in a bag by Perseus only to be brought out to stun warriors into a rather nasty death.



What's Next?


Minotaur China Shop?

Zeus Electrical?

Hellhound Kennels?

Siren Shipping?

Icarus Airlines?

Or how about

Cyclops Optometrists:

"We keep our 'eye' on our competitors"

technorati tags: greek gods, roman gods, hairdressing, mythology, greek mythology, gorgon, medusa,minotaur, zeus, siren, icarus, hellhound, cyclops