Thursday, December 07, 2006

Don't Read MX Magazine if you Value your Brain

While I was sitting on the train this morning, I saw an elderly Chinese woman jogging slowly backwards down the path alongside the railway line.

It confused the hell out of me. It made me wonder if the train was going forwards or backwards. Then I thought maybe this is one of those moments in The Matrix where you see the glitch in the program - like when Neo sees the cat walk by twice.

Was I really here? I started to wonder. I wondered if this was the part where Morpheus turns up and gives me the red pill.

I glanced back at the woman jogging slowly backwards in the distance.

I decided it was probably some form of Qigong that I'm not familiar with. Maybe someone should tell her not to do it so close to a train moving in the opposite direction, for fear of sparking existential questioning / brain melting.

I spotted a copy of MX Magazine on the seat in front of me. It got me thinking.

I remember a time when it was frowned upon to read the Herald Sun, the inferior sports-heavy tabloid to The Age's comprehensive broadsheet. The only acceptable excuse for buying it being that "The Age" was sold out at the newsstand.

Now people read it like it's "The News".

Andrew Bolt?

The man is a FOX News version of "Fair and Balanced".

So, now with people like Bolt slowly acclimatising Australia to the view that the ABC, The Age, Big Ted, Bananas in Pyjamas and maybe even The Wiggles favour left-wing political views, we are all in deep crap.



Again I return to the MX Magazine sitting in front of me. It seems compulsory to read it. It's free and provided in abundance at train stations. Everyone else is reading it. Everybody.

Join us!!!!!!!!! (sinister hissing)

I can't.
I can't do it.

MX Magazine is a dumbed down, Readers' Digest Condensed Book version of the already dumbed down Herald Sun. What's next? We are handed a paper at the station and instead of the headline reading:

"Victorian Bushfire Season Reaches New Heights"

we read

"UG. BIG FIRE."

There is an alternative. Join your local (lefty, pinko, greenie) library, while we still have them - borrow some books and read them on the train. You can expand your mind instead of losing much needed brain cells on the rules of barbeque ettiquette.

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